55 Anchor Puns  for a Tidal Wave of Smiles

Anchor puns playfully use the multiple meanings of the word “anchor” to create silly wordplay. Anchors are heavy objects used on ships and boats to hold them in place, but “anchor” can also refer to a news broadcaster who presents the news on television.

Anchor puns humorously twist these two meanings, with jokes about anchors “weighing down” a newscast, reporters “dropping anchor” to deliver breaking news, newscasters being obsessed with nautical themes, and more.

The 55 Best Anchor Puns evoke laughs by suddenly shifting between the concrete and abstract meanings of anchor.

55 Best Anchor Puns

1. my wife is kicking me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a tv news anchor. more on that after the break.
2. i learned something today. when the news anchor says, “if you know anything about the crime, call the police,” the cops get super pissed if you call them and re-tell the news story.
3. you hear about the anchored float who only employed his mates? jobs for the buoys
4. i learned something today. when the news anchor says, “if you know anything about the crime, call the police,” the cops get super pissed if you call them and re-tell the news story.
5. we had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked: ‘so bobby, where’s that 8 inches you promised me last night?’
6. my wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor. more on this after the break.
7. my news anchor college just couldn’t stop rambling about how a bank robber escaped … so i told him to cut to the chase
8. my favourite part of working in an anchor factory is the job security. you know that even if the investments have sunk and the business is going under, that job’s not going anywhere.
9. what happened when the reporter fell into the water? she became an anchor…
10. report writingletter writingshort essaysdiary entry writinganchoring scriptspeech scripthow to spell
11. the weather forecast predicted strong winds, so the harbor master advised everyone to properly “anchor-pre” their boats.
12. encourage → anchorage: as in “stop anchoraging him!”.
13. i asked my friend how she stays motivated, and she said, “i always make sure to anchor my goals with determination.”
14. so two justins walk into a news studio. they decide to play a game with the anchor while he’s on air. during the newscast they walk up to the anchor and ask “ which of us two is the most made for tv?”the anchor turned to the camera and said “this justin”
15. why did the news anchor get his windows tinted? to prevent others from seein’ in.
16. a navy captain got in trouble for ordering an anchor much too large for his ship weigh more than needed
17. my wife is leaving me because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor. more on this after the break.
18. my wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a tv news anchor. more on that after the break.
19. my wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with impersonating a news anchor… more on this after the break.
20. news anchors should really be careful these days… they’re always breaking news.
21. where was the captain sent after he hit another ship? anchor management
22. i order to stay in the navy, i had to take a course in anchor management.
23. what makes the news seem slow? the anchor.
24. news anchor: this just in. polaroid cameras are coming back in fashion. more on this as it develops…
25. what do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg? you put her in a broadcast.
26. my wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor. more on this after the break.
27. the oceanographer’s favorite drink is “anchor-hored” soda. it’s the perfect refreshment after a long day at sea.
28. reporters and anchors should really be more careful… they’re always breaking news.
29. if republicans try to push through a bill related to the keystone pipeline, they should call it the gasoline alternative source act because i want to hear a news anchor say “today republicans tried to pass g.a.s., but obama blocked the move with a veto.”
30. where was the captain sent after he hit another ship? anchor management
31. local news anchor just dropped this one in regards to the temperature “cue up the nirvana because we’re living in the 90s!”
32. i can’t stop i have anchor management issues
33. my girlfriend is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a tv news anchor. more on this after the break.
34. my wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor. more on this after the break.
35. my grandpa loves fishing, but sometimes he gets a little too caught up in it. he always wants to reel in the “biggest anchor in the sea.”
36. what’s the difference between cnn and the titanic? the titanic had all of its anchors when it sank
37. my girlfriend is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a tv news anchor. more on this after the break.
38. why did the electrician become a news anchor? he’s always had a knack for current events.
39. my news anchor college just couldn’t stop rambling about how a bank robber escaped … so i told him to cut to the chase
40. my wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a tv news anchor. more on that after the break.
41. tv anchor and a shapherd tv anchor to a shapherd: “what do you feed your goat?”shepherd: “which one, the black or the white?”anchor: “hmm! the black one”shepherd: “grass”anchor: “and the white one?”shepherd: “also grass”anchor: “how do you bathe them?”shepherd: “which … read more
42. short essaysdiary entry writinganchoring scriptspeech scripthow to spell
43. i was watching a cooking show and the chef said, “don’t make an anchor out of a molehill!” i guess he didn’t want any small problems “weighing” him down.
44. why did the captain hate his boat’s anchor? it was a piece of ship.
45. my cousin is so passionate about boating; he even named his dog “anchor.” it’s quite the “anchor-mal” magnet!
46. why did the electrician become a news anchor? he’s always had a knack for current events.
47. my friend asked me how i stay so grounded. i told them, “i guess i just have good anchor management.”
48. did you hear about the sailor who opened a bakery? he became an expert at making “dough anchors.”
49. what do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg? you put her in a broadcast.
50. i’m about to lose my job in the navy unless i make some drastic changes. i have to take a course in anchor management.
51. what job did the ex-therapist do aboard the ship? anchor management.
52. i watched a documentary about anchors, and it really “anchored” me to my seat. it was an enthralling experience.
53. i wanted to be a news anchor, but i couldn’t stay moored to one location. i guess you could say i was constantly moving “on air.
54. anchor → cranker: as in, “cast cranker” and “drop cranker.”
55. what happens when you predict snow but don’t get any? we had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked: ‘so bobby, where’s that 8 inches you promised me last night?’.

Feel free to add your puns using the comments section below.