75 Battery Puns to Make Lightning-Fast Connections!

Battery puns are a type of humor that play on the word “battery” and its various meanings, often involving double entendres or puns related to electrical batteries, as well as physical batteries or items that could be used as weapons (such as a battery of a ship’s cannon).

The themes of battery puns can vary widely, from jokes about electric power and energy storage to wordplay involving physical batteries and their roles in different contexts

These 75 Best Battery Puns typically aim to surprise and amuse the audience by presenting unexpected twists on familiar phrases or concepts involving the word “battery.”

75 Best Battery Puns

how does a battery tell time? it checks its positive charge watch.
i went to the store and said to the worker, “i need a battery so i can tell the time.” he asked, “is it for a clock?” i answered… “i don’t know! that’s why i need the battery!”
what’s a battery’s favorite holiday? christmas, the season of giving charges!
why did the battery go to the comedy club? it needed a good charge of laughter.
why did the battery become a detective? it had a knack for solving “powerful” mysteries!
when one battery was unsure whether to continue the resolution for another month, what did it say to another?i’m positive!
how did the battery feel when it couldn’t find its keys? discharged.
why did the battery go to the spa? it needed a positive recharge.
why did the battery break up with the flashlight? it was tired of the flickering flame.
what did one battery say to the other during a race? “i’m positively charged up for this!”
how did the battery respond when it won the lottery? “i’m positively charged for life!”
why did the battery go on a diet? it wanted to slim down and be a lean, mean energy machine!
why did the battery go to therapy? it had too many issues to charge through.
what’s called when a battery gets hurt? aa tragedy
i’m a therapist, and once had a client become enraged when their phone ran out of battery. i suggested that they find an outlet.
my father in law bought an electric car and a dodge on the same day. he said it was because he thought you should buy both a battery and a charger.
what did the battery say when it got shocked? “that was a jolt out of the blue!”
why did the battery become a motivational speaker? it had a positive charge that inspired others!
why did the battery refuse to skydive? it was afraid of losing its charge on the way down!
i asked the lithium-ion battery for some relationship advice, and it said, “always stay positive, but remember to recharge.”
why did the battery refuse to play hide-and-seek? it was afraid it would never find its charge again!
what type of battery do you need if your car breaks down? triple a
what’s a battery’s favorite place to hang out? the power outlet!
copper better be careful, if zinc shows up they could both be charged with battery
why did the battery refuse to go out in public? it was shy and didn’t want to be put on display.
the battery loved the library – it’s the best place to find some “current” literature!
why did the battery get lost in the city? it couldn’t find a charge station.
what’s a battery’s favorite place in the house? the living room, where all the charges happen!
i had a blind date with a battery. he said he was pretty positive, but also mentioned that he had a negative side.
i tried to compliment my battery, but it said it was already charged with confidence.
butter → battery: as in, “bread and battery” and “battery fingers.”
i asked my battery to help with the chores, but it just kept dodging the circuit.
my friend met a prostitute who connected battery wires to his testicles. i said, “holy shit! how much did she charge you?”
why did the battery go to the spa? it needed a positive charge of relaxation!
how do you know your phone has a full battery in the star wars universe? chargar blinks
what do you call a battery with a great memory? a long-lasting impression!
what’s a battery’s favorite ice cream flavor? shock-a-lot!
i used to be a banker, but now i work at a battery store. i guess you could say i’ve switched from charging interest to charging batteries.
why did the battery join a rock band? it wanted to experience a powerful performance.
who is a battery’s favorite character from the big bang theory?a: cell-don, of course.
what did the battery say to its partner during a romantic sunset?a: “i’m positively charged with love for you!”
what do you call a battery that’s always on the go? a mobile energy source.
why did the battery go to school? it wanted to be fully charged!
how does a battery handle stress? it takes a positive recharge break.
a falling battery killed a man today. it was charged with murder.
quick laughs: top battery one-liners
what do you call a battery with no energy? a has-been!
how did the battery get elected president? it had a powerful campaign.
what do you call a battery that’s all dressed up? a “charged” up battery!
what did the battery say to the phone? you light up my life.
how did the battery feel after winning the race? electrified and positively charged!
my friend tried to flirt with a lithium-ion battery, but it just gave him a cold, calculating stare.
what do you call a battery that’s always on the go? a portable cell.
why did the battery become a detective? it was determined to solve power mysteries and crack electric cases!
why did the battery go to school? it wanted to get a charge out of learning!
why did the battery go on vacation? it needed to recharge its batteries.
what did the battery say when asked about its partner?a: “they’re the power behind my every smile, the reason i feel charged up every day.”
what’s a battery’s favorite type of music? heavy volt-age!
did you hear that the energizer bunny got arrested? he was charged with battery.
why did the battery start a fitness program? it wanted to be in “peak” condition!
a police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. he charged one and let the other one off.
what’s a battery’s favorite dance style? the electric slide!
my battery’s my secret keeper. it always keeps things ‘cell’d’ up.
why did the battery go to school? it needed to get a little more “juiced” about learning!
why did the battery start a band? it wanted to create some high-voltage music.
q.why does an unused battery feel so sad? a. it’s never included in anything!
would you like a dead battery? they are free of charge.
q.why did the judge stop the business merger between moron’s
and duracell? a. ’cause he could not allow a salt and battery in his courtroom.
what did the battery coach say to motivate the team? “let’s give it our best charge!”
what do you call a nervous battery? a “watt”le of nerves!
what did the battery do when it got angry? it let out a shocking response!
what’s the difference between a 9 volt battery and an ass hole. you know you shouldn’t but you still want to put your tongue on it.
q.why did the battery salesman quit his job? a. he no longer got a charge out of it.
q.how did the blonde know her relationship was over? a. her battery ran out on her.
q.what did the juiced-out battery say to the cop waiting outside
the bar? a. feel free to charge me.