55 Calendar Puns for Endless Laughs

best funny Calendar puns
Written by Fuuny Puns Team

Calendar puns take advantage of the many meanings and associations of words related to timekeeping. By playing on concepts like dates, months, years, and schedules, calendar puns find the funny side of how we organize our days.

Some common themes in calendar puns involve wordplay related to dates, months, and the calendar industry itself. Advent calendars in particular seem to inspire lots of puns, with jokes about “taking it up a level” or staying “organized” by scheduling chocolates.

Browse through some examples below- I’m sure you’ll find at least one way to mark your day with a smile!

60 Best Calendar Puns

  1. let’s dive into the world of time-related humor and explore how calendars can inspire such hearty chuckles.
  2. what did the calendar say when it was afraid? “i’ve got a date with destiny!”
  3. what’s the difference between a calendar and a average redditor? calendars have dates
  4. what’s a calendar’s favorite book? days of future passed.
  5. why did the advent calendar get a ticket while driving? because it couldn’t resist the urge to “speed-date”!
  6. what did the calendar say when it was feeling uncertain? “i’m having a date crisis!”
  7. when the advent calendar was feeling generous, it handed out “dates” to all its friends.
  8. why did the advent calendar bring a ladder to the christmas party? it wanted to “take it up a level”!
  9. i lost my job at the calendar factory. my boss said it was unacceptable that i’d taken a few days off.
  10. two guys stole a calendar they both got 6 months
  11. i’ve got an advent calendar for jehovah’s witnesses… every time you open a door, someone tells you to fuck off.
  12. how does the advent calendar stay organized? it “schedules” its chocolates for each day.
  13. what’s a calendar’s favorite movie genre? “time”-travel adventures!
  14. i came to the realization that i would never again purchase a cheap calendar on the 13th day of the 13th month.
  15. why did the calendar start a gardening club? it wanted to “grow” its circle of dates.
  16. i bought a russian advent calendar. every time you open a window an oligarch falls out.
  17. why was the calendar so depressed? he knew his days were numbered
  18. why did the calendar become a gardener? because it wanted to work with dates and seasons!
  19. i got fired from my job at the calendar factory all i did was take a day off
  20. why was the calendar excited about math class? it loved counting down the days.
  21. i was super lucky to get an advent calendar this year… because you know their days are numbered.
  22. why did the calendar refuse to jump into the ocean? because it couldn’t find a good date!
  23. the man who stole an advent calendar, what happened to him? he had 24 days…
  24. i like to mark my calendar with bright neon colours. it’s the highlight of my day.
  25. how does the advent calendar prepare for the holiday rush? it practices its “choc-ing” skills.
  26. how do you make a calendar laugh? you give it a “date” to remember!
  27. what’s the advent calendar’s favorite movie genre? anything with a “choc-lot” of suspense!
  28. why did the man get fired from his job at the calendar factory? he took a day off
  29. i downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
  30. perhaps you should begin to worry about the calendar since its days are limited
  31. what’s the difference between leonardo di caprio and a calendar leo’s dates only go up to 25.
  32. what’s a calendar’s favorite exercise? the “month”-ly jog.
  33. i used to work in a calender factory, but i got fired … because i took a few days off..also, did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?he got 12 months.
  34. what did one calendar say to the other on new year’s eve? “see you next year!”
  35. why did the calendar break up with the clock? it felt like it was always being watched.
  36. just received word that two men had been found guilty of stealing a calendar. both were given six months.
  37. why did the calendar cross the road? to get to the other side of the year!
  38. i don’t have an advent calendar so i’m just opening cupboards and eating whatever is in there
  39. dogs all dog calendars dog breeds dog art funny dogs cute puppies assorted dogs.
  40. i used to work at a calendar factory but they fired me for taking a couple of days off
  41. why did the calendar go to the doctor? it had too many appointments to keep track of.
  42. once you start using a calendar your days are numbered.
  43. i worry about the calendar. its time is running out.
  44. how do you comfort a sad calendar? you give it some “dates” to look forward to!
  45. what happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on new years eve? he got 12 months!
  46. why only 11 months on spider man’s-calendar? he dropped may.
  47. did you hear about the guy who stole the calendar? he got 12 months
  48. why did the calendar get a standing ovation? it was always “on schedule.”
  49. hear about the kid who stole a calendar? he got 12 months.
  50. apparently, taking a day off is not something you can do when you work for a calendar company.
  51. your phone has already replaced your watch, camera, calendar and alarm clock… don’t let it replace your family.
  52. what did the calendar say to the clock when they had an argument? “you need to watch your tone!”
  53. what’s a calendar’s favorite type of music? “rock” and roll, of course!
  54. why does our calendar include names of gods? so we remember the deities.
  55. why did the calendar write a book? it had so many “dates” to share.

Feel free to add your puns using the comments section below.

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About the author

Fuuny Puns Team

With a shared love for puns, we come together to create content that will leave you laughing and entertained. Our team members have a knack for finding the perfect puns for any occasion and enjoy sharing them with our readers. From witty one-liners to clever wordplay, we strive to bring you the best puns and humor that will brighten your day.