110 Card Puns That Will Make You LOL

Card puns are clever wordplay that incorporates cards and their elements into humorous and witty phrases.

Some puns include wordplay involving the different suits of cards (hearts, clubs, diamonds, and spades), jokes about card games like poker or blackjack, puns related to card-related terminology such as “deal,” “hand,” or “shuffle,” and humorous comparisons between cards and everyday situations or objects.

These 110 Best Card Puns can be a great way to bring laughter and light-heartedness to any discussion or blog post.

110 Best Card Puns

why was the card always calm? because it knew how to hold its suit.
i know someone who’s addicted to playing cards… but he’s trying to deal with it.
i gave my deck some water; it was card-hydrated.
“when it comes to love, you’re my wild card, bringing excitement and joy into my life.”
why did the card join the circus? it wanted to be a wild card.
i tried to play cards with some wild animals but trying to deal with a cheetah is just too hard.
the hardest part about learning to play cards in a new city? finding the right deck-tionary.
i recently had breakfast with tenacious d while playing a game of cards nothing like playing blackjack with jack black over a stack of flapjacks
who ended up winning the best dance competition out of all of the cards? the queen and king of clubs reigned supreme.
why did the card go to school? to become a little brrrrrr-ighter.
what did everyone say when two of the highest valued cards from a deck got married? it’s so nice, how the king has finally managed to find his queen.
what kind of nuts only accept credit card payments? cashews
i told my friend that he was drawing too many cards, he said it was in his sketch.
why did the card dealer go to prison? he was caught dealing from the bottom of the deck.
how do you build a house with playing cards start a clubwin their heartsgive them tools and spadespay them with diamonds
my wife thought i was mad because the only birthday gift i received was this comically miniature playing cards. it wasn’t a big deal.
why don’t playing cards ever go camping? because they’re afraid of the wild cards!
what do you call a romantic card? a heart dealer.
why did the card ghost haunt the casino? he wanted to spook the dealer.
why was the card so proud? it was the king of clubs and the heart of the game.
cardboard policemen… they’re just not cut for the job.
“why did the card go to therapy? it wanted to discover its true suit-ential!”
never get a tuxedo made out of playing cards. it’ll never suit you.
i’ve lost all my pokémon cards in a house fire. i’ve only got ash now.
why don’t we play hide and seek? you hide, and if i find you, you have to play cards with me!
the diamond was always shining at the card game.
why was the man playing cards in church so confident?a: because he was sure that the prayer in a casino is more sincere than the one in the church.
what did the dealer say to the deck of cards?a: “i can’t deal with you when you’re all mixed up.”
what’s a card’s least favorite chore? cleaning up the deck.
how do card players say hello in the jungle?a: “deck-aw!”
why did a man start kicking his new deck of playing cards? he had just bought a kick-starter pack.
what do you get when you mix a duck, drugs, and playing cards? a quack dealer.
why don’t secrets work in a card game? because everyone knows not to trust a deck.
i just bought my son a flat piece of cardboard for christmas. i have no idea why he wants an ex box.
“why did the card take up yoga? it wanted to find inner suits-peace!”
what did the card player bring to the table besides chips?a: high stakes and a full house.
they remind us that even in a digital age, a traditional deck of cards can still be a source of endless amusement.
my friend asked, “can you deal with these playing cards?” i said, “sure, i’ve got a good hand-le on it.”
what do you call a card shark who makes clothes? a card-igan!
the club was always the life of the card party.
“why do magicians make good card players? they’re experts at slight of hand!”
why do cards always make great gifts? because they come packed with a ton of potential.
“what do you call a card game that’s always cranky? a grumpy flush!”
“why did the card player cross the road? to get to the other suit!”
why did the fish have a bad report card? because his teacher was crappe
why was the deck of cards good at making decisions? they always knew the deal.
“why was the deck of cards great at storytelling? it had so many suits to tell!”
playing cards with mummies can be fun, but they always keep things under wraps.
“life is all about taking risks ♠️ and playing your cards right. ”
why do pirates avoid card games?a: someone is always walking the deck.
why couldn’t the bicycle find its cards? it lost its deck!
“why did the playing card break up with the deck? it felt too drawn-out!”
why was the dog skeptical of the chicken’s card game?a: he suspected fowl play.
“why do playing cards love socializing? they’re always in clubs!”
why did the card shark always win at the casino? he was a real pro at acing his bets!
“what’s a card’s favorite party trick? the ace of spades disappearing act!”
what do you call a card who likes to travel a lot? a roam-ing heart.
what did the man yell to the dogs playing poker when he slammed down 24 cards on the table? you curs
“why did the card player go broke? he lost all his spades in a diamond heist! ”
i didn’t have a brown belt to match my outfit today, so i made one out of cardboard, which subsequently ripped. what a waist of paper.
my deck is so versatile; it’s got a card up its sleeve for every situation.
i knew a card who was great at school. he was top of his suit.
friend sent me a timelapse of her folding cardboard boxes, this is how it went.
the deck said to the card, “i’ve got your back.”
how do cards say goodbye? “deck you later!”
“what’s a card’s favorite music genre? r&b (rhythm & black hearts)! ”
why was the mummy great at poker?a: because he always kept his cards under wraps!
why was the card feeling down? it was dealing with a lot.
what’s a card’s favorite music? shuffle-beat.
why could the actor never read their lines from cue cards? because they kept trying to read between the lines
what did one deck of cards tell the other?
“why did the card go to the gym? it wanted to work on its flush! ”
why did the card go to the doctor? it had a bad case of hearts.
“i always have a winning hand when i’m dealt cards!”
playing cards against humanity with my dad. the cards were “i drink to forget – pooping in a laptop and closing it.”he says, “you mean a craptop?”
you know what’s hard about playing cards in the winter? the deck always freezes up.
a playing card in the sahara is a card-shark in des-suit.
“why did the card player bring string to the game? to tie the score!”
“life’s a card game, and i’m here to raise the laughter stakes! ”
what did a woman say when she got told she couldn’t play a card game with her left hand? i need to play my cards right to win.
what’s a card’s favorite piece of clothing? card-igans!
did you hear about the magician who lost his card in a poker game? he said “i guess i’ll just have to deal with it.”
i really like that actress in “house of cards,” “manhattan” and “the marvelous mrs. maisel.” i’m a rachel brosnafan.
“did you hear about the playing card that went to the doctor? it had a heart condition! ”
can a cardboard box? no, but a tin can.
“our love is like a deck of cards, always full of surprises and endless possibilities.”
the only gift i got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards. i’m having a hard time dealing with it.
my friend can’t afford to pay his water bill anymore, so i sent him a get well soon card. washing you a fast recovery!
why do cards never lose at hide and seek? because they always stay in the deck.
a couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards. that’s right. the steaks were pretty high.
why did the card sit by the computer? it wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.
why did the deck of cards go to the school counselor? it was dealing with its suits!
what did the pirate’s friend say when he saw the pirate sitting next to the treasure chest during their poker game? why are you playing your cards so close to your chest?
why don’t aliens play cards?a: they don’t want to deal with human kind.
card sharks and funny cards
why was a woman upset when her husband gave her a deck of cards for her birthday? she had asked for something with diamonds.
“what did the card player say to the sore loser? ‘you need to shuffle off your bad attitude!’”
why did the scarecrow win so many card games?a: because he was outstanding in his field of play!
“what do you call a card game with vegetables? salad ’em up poker!”
what do you call a card game for just one person?a: solitaire confinement.
“time to put on my poker face and let the cards do the talking!”
why was the math book good at cards?a: it had all the angles.
my wifes bank card was stolen 3 days ago. so far they have spent less than her everyday, so i’m not saying anything.
life is like a deck of cards, you never know what card you’re going to get.
why did the card shark fail at being a swimmer? he always went all-in on every stroke.
the card was feeling blue, so it decided to suit up.
why don’t vampires play cards? they don’t like stakes.
i wanted to start a card game but i couldn’t… because it was a full deck.
never lie to a deck of cards; they can see right through you.
“why was the card game so popular among chefs? it had the best suits!”