70 Diamond Puns to Sparkle Your Conversations

Diamond puns mine the precious gemstone for all its wordplay potential. Ranging from clever to corny, diamond puns take a “facet”-ious look at terms like “carat,” “brilliant,” and “sparkle” in new contexts.

Some examples that manage to “cut” through include a diamond detective solving “carat-astrophic” mysteries or asking a diamond comedian if they can “crack” jokes. Cornier puns may involve a diamond becoming a “carat“-wheeler in the circus or loving chamomile tea to relax.

70 Best Diamond Puns

how did the diamond find its way home? it followed the “carat”!
why did the diamond go to therapy?a: it had too many issues to deal with!
what’s the kohinoor diamond’s favorite movie? “the crown jewel,” of course!
how did the diamond feel when it was cut? a little rough.what did the diamond say to the other diamond when it saw it for the first time? “you shine like no other.”
everything you need to know about lab-grown diamonds
what’s a diamond’s favorite social media platform? “carat”stagram!
i asked the jewelry store if they accepted diamonds as payment, and they said no. i guess that’s just not how they rock and roll.
what did the diamond say to the sunflower? “i’m the real “carat” in this garden!”
what do you call a diamond that’s a master of disguise? a “carat”-ameleon!
why did the diamond become a teacher? it loved sharing “carat”-ledge!
what do you get when you cross a diamond with a unicorn?a: a sparklecorn!
what’s a diamond’s favorite type of dog? a “pug,” because it’s a cut above the rest.
my diamond is so funny; it’s like the ‘clown jewel’ of the gem world!
“why was the diamond always calm? it had inner carat-y!”
“in a world full of stones, be a diamond.”
what do you call a diamond that’s good at math?a: a gem-ius.
what do you call a happy diamond? a gem of joy.
my kid got tattoos of a heart, club, diamond and spade—all without my permission. i might have to deal with him later.
why did the geologist bring a diamond to the party?a: because they wanted to be the life of the rock party.
why did the diamond go to the party? it wanted to have a “gem” of a time!
why don’t diamonds ever get lost? they always “sparkle” where they are.
what did the diamond say when it was feeling sick?a: “i think i have caratarrh.”
what do you call a diamond that loves to travel? a “wander-gem”!
what’s a diamond’s favorite exercise? “carat”-dio workouts!
how do diamonds spice things up? they carat-on dancing!
why did the diamond break up with the gold? it was too flashy!
why did the diamond join the circus? it wanted to be a “carat”-wheeler!
why did the diamond become a teacher? it wanted to “polish” young minds.
i tried to borrow a diamond from my friend, but she said, “i’m not gem-erous enough.”
what do you call a gravestone made out of diamond? a long term investment
how do you know if a diamond is tired? it starts losing its sparkle!
when i went to karaoke night, i was asked, “you the guy who only sings neil diamond songs?” “i am,” i said.
what did the diamond say to the jewel thief? “you can’t steal my shine, it’s too “facet”-inating!”
where do diamonds come from? carbon dating.
why did the diamond go to school? because it wanted to be a little bit sharper.
why don’t diamonds ever get sick? they’ve got a lot of carats.
my grandfather’s last wish was that we should convert his ashes into a diamond. that’s a lot of pressure.
what did the diamond say to the pickpocket? “you won’t get a carat out of me!”
when it comes to picking out diamonds, i always try to be facet-nating.
what did the diamond say to the comedian? “you crack me up!”
what’s a diamond’s favorite type of bird? a “peacock,” because it loves to show off.
i bought a used volvo from neil diamond on autotrader. swede car online.
why did the diamond become a travel agent? it wanted to see the “world.”
“i’m not being cold, i just have a diamond demeanor!”
why are baseball players rich? because they play on diamonds.
what did the diamond say to the broken glass? “i’m sorry, but i’m a cut above the rest!”
why did the diamond bring a mirror to the party? it wanted to see its own “brilliance” reflected!
why was the diamond good at running? it always had a good carat pace.
sure, diamonds are valuable, but have you tried a good hug?
what’s a diamond’s favorite type of tea? “chamomile,” because it loves to relax.
my jewelry collection? mostly cereal box prizes and a few pretend diamonds.
what do you call a diamond that’s always late?a: a procrastincarat.
they say diamonds are a mark of wealth, but i once lost my engagement ring in a bag of chips.
tips for engagement ring shopping in the nyc diamond district
why did the diamond become an architect? it wanted to “design” buildings.
how do diamonds keep their money safe? in the “carat” vault!
“did you know the diamond’s favorite planet? saturn, because of the ring!”
why did the diamond become a detective? it loved solving “carat”-astrophic mysteries!
what do you call a diamond that’s always calm? a “carat”-m spirit!
what did the diamond say to the piece of coal? ‘you’ve got some serious ‘carat’ potential!’
what’s a diamond’s favorite type of cereal? “granola,” because it loves a bit of crunch.
how do diamonds stay cool in the summer? they wear “ice”-cream cone hats!
what’s a diamond’s favorite type of shoe? “loafers,” because it loves comfort.
why did the diamond go to school? to get a little “brilliant”!
what happens when you put a diamond in a printer?a: a carbon replica.
why did the diamond go to the art class? it wanted to draw carats.
how do diamonds greet each other?a: they say, “brilliant!”
why did the diamond become a journalist? it wanted to “report” on gemstone news.
why don’t diamonds ever get tired? they are full of energy.
what do you call a diamond that’s a fantastic storyteller? a “carat”-chronicler!