105 Knife Puns That’ll Slice Through Your Boredom

Knife puns often play on the sharpness, cutting abilities, and versatility of knives, as well as their role in various professions and aspects of daily life.

There is a wide range of knife puns, including those related to cooking and chefs, knife–wielding professions, and even the use of knives in popular culture. Some themes involve incorporating the word “knife” into common expressions or idiomatic phrases, creating a humorous twist.

The purpose of 105 Best Knife Puns is to generate laughter and amusement by cleverly incorporating the concept of knives into jokes, phrases, and anecdotes.

105 Best Knife Puns

1. my knife’s so trendy, it’s always on the cutting edge of fashion.
2. why did the knife blush? because it saw the salad dressing!
3. manufacture → ma-knife-acture: as in, “locally ma-knife-actured.”
4. what did the knife say at the picnic?a: “let’s cut to the cheese!”
5. the knife always has the best comebacks. it’s known for its “cutting” remarks.
6. the organization had a ma-knife-sto.
7. the knife that abraham used to kill isaac has been found in britain.– apparently, it was a dyson.
8. why did the swiss army knife visit the museum? to see its ancestors!
9. since it reminded him of a person known as arnold clock who was responsible for knife-raping his own life.
10. a knife’s favorite dance move? the stab-and-twist.
11. the knife was so excited about the wedding that it could barely contain itself.
12. what do you call it when a knife cuts the cheese? a gouda cut!
13. what’s a knife’s favorite song?a: “cutting crew – i just died in your arms tonight.”
14. why did the knife salesman have to leave work and go home early to rest? he had stabbing pains.
15. the knife that always wins is the one with a sharp sense of humor.
16. why did the butter knife get mad? because people kept spreading rumors!
17. the chef’s secret weapon? a knife sense of humor!
18. a knife told me a secret, but i promised not to spread it. i guess you could say it was a “sharable” secret.
19. what does a knife use to get ready for a night out? sharp-dresser!
20. what’s the difference between a man with multiple stab wounds and a knife juggler? – practice.
21. when i was not able to find a knife for cutting open the package i used a cd instead for getting the job done.– the knife i bought yesterday has got cutting-edge technology.
22. the chef’s knife got a promotion because it always cuts to the point.
23. “my knife’s favorite song? ‘don’t stop believin’ – it’s got an edge to it.”
24. we need to carry a knife-boat for emergencies.
25. the knife made a bet it could outperform the fork, but it was a serrated contest.
26. final slice: the best of knife humor
27. a knife’s favorite drink? slice tea.
28. when your nose runs, you s-knife-le.
29. why did the knife get an award? for outstanding cutting remarks!
30. what did one knife say to another during a party?a: “you’re looking sharp tonight!”
31. my friend got angry when i broke his favorite knife. i guess i really cut him to the core.
32. “you and me, we’re like a knife and fork.” “why?” “perfectly in sync, and always together!”
33. the knife felt like a superhero; it always saved the day, one slice at a time.
34. the knife set was really becoming a cutlery family in the kitchen drawer.
35. the butter knife tried to be funny, but it was just too spread out.
36. why did the knife apply for drama school?a: it wanted to have a cutting role.
37. when life gives you lemons, grab a knife and make some lemonade.
38. “may your wedding day be as ‘cutting-edge’ as the finest wedding knife!”
39. when i see couple’s names carved into a tree, i don’t think it’s sweet. – i think it’s strange how many people take a knife on a date.
40. the knife had an uncanny ability to slice through awkward situations like butter.
41. did you hear about the knife that won an award? it was truly a cut above the rest.
42. the knife’s stand-up routine was so sharp, it could make onions cry.
43. what did the knife say to the cutting board? “you’re the ‘chop’ of my dreams!”
44. i have a knife collection; it’s quite cutting-edge.
45. the knife got a job at the bakery. it’s a real “dough” cutter now!
46. knife been there before.
47. i didn’t trust the knife, but it seemed pretty slicey.
48. the knife was a trusted kitchen companion who always had your chop back.
49. “adding a sprinkle of humor to the knife aficionado life.”
50. why did the knife dislike getting photographed? it was always caught in a bad slice.
51. how does a knife flirt?a: “is it just me, or do we have a cutting chemistry?”
52. i bought a knife than can cut through four loaves of bread at once– it’s a four loaf cleaver
53. the butter knife wore a suit because it wanted to look sharp.
54. “the wedding knife: a tool of love, unity, and shared meals!”
55. why did the knife go to therapy? it had too many issues with cutting ties.
56. our love is like a well-crafted pocket knife, always there to protect and provide in times of need.
57. if she doesn’t know how to use a knife, cleaver.
58. why did the knife get good grades? it was always on point!
59. the knife had a reputation for being a cutthroat negotiator.
60. i did my best to bring my swiss army knife through customs but they denied it, so that is what i get for bringing a 4-in-1.
61. my swiss army knife’s so advanced, it even has a tool for time travel.
62. knife’s too short to use dull knives.
63. i tried to join the knife club. but, i couldn’t make the cut.
64. “your bond is like a knife and fork.” “how?” “always together, no matter the meal!”
65. the knife wanted to go on vacation, but it couldn’t handle the tsa regulations.
66. “knife and fork: the tools that turn meals into masterpieces!”
67. the knife attended a comedy workshop to sharpen its comedic timing.
68. why did the knife break up with the spoon? it felt too serrated from the relationship.
69. our bond is like a knife’s edge; it’s strong, sharp, and unbreakable.
70. why did the knife get a time-out?a: it couldn’t stop cutting corners.
71. “a linguistic journey into the realm of knife-related expressions.”
72. why did the knife join the gym? to get razor sharp!
73. you’re not just the icing on the cake; you’re the knife that spreads joy into my life.
74. what did the older knife say to the younger one?a: “you’re still too blunt.”
75. our love is like a beautifully crafted damascus steel knife, a work of art that withstands the test of time.
76. why did the knife start a band? it wanted to be a cutting-edge musician.
77. what happened to the dull knife’s application it was turned down, he just couldn’t make the cut.
78. there’s no justification for holding a knife while flirting not even if it’s a boning knife.
79. i found a knife that was so sharp, it could cut through the silence.
80. what is a melodic knife called? a balisong.
81. “your knife looks tired.” “it had a long night of fun!”
82. my mind’s drawing a blank on knife quips. care to take a jab at it?
83. “stay sharp and keep a knife and fork handy – you never know when hunger strikes!”
84. why did the knife join the circus? it loved the juggling act!
85. if she doesn’t know how to use a knife, cleaver.
86. “i dated a swiss army knife.” “really?” “yes, it was a multifaceted relationship!”
87. i found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak it wasn’t really sharp of him
88. why was the knife so good at math?a: it was an expert at dividing.
89. knife sharpening has always been and will always be cutting-edge technology
90. just like a well-balanced chef’s knife, our love is perfectly poised and incredibly satisfying.
91. why did the knife go to therapy? it had too many unresolved issues with forks.
92. why is someone holding in knife in public so dangerous? they have point-up rage.
93. a chef without a knife is like a superhero without a cape.
94. i bought a knife with a built-in camera. it’s a “point-and-shoot” device.
95. the knife had a splitting headache trying to deal with the dull butterknife.
96. with great humor comes great knife responsibility.
97. the knife wanted to become a motivational speaker. it believed it could inspire others to cut through their fears.
98. although the majority of the individuals having lots of knives appear to be dangerous, they are actually knife people.
99. lost my bread knife the other day.. i’m absolutely gutted…we’ve been through thick and thin
100. why did the knife refuse to go out? it wanted to avoid a sticky situation.
101. a mugger held me up at knife point, demanding i give all my money…– so i drew him a map to my ex-wife’s house.
102. the knife was tired of all the slice propaganda spread by the forks.
103. i read an article about the importance of the end of a knife. the author made a good point.
104. the knife and the cutting board got engaged. they’re planning a sharp wedding!
105. why did the knife go to the beach? to enjoy the sea and slice!

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