75 Map Puns for Endless Laughs

Map puns are jokes that play on words related to maps, directions, locations, and other map-related terms.

They allow you to turn map terms into clever wordplay and jokes. A good map pun should involve a map-related double meaning to surprise and amuse the listener.

From navigating Alcatraz to crying rivers, 75 Best Map Puns help enliven any conversation with a little geographical humor!

75 Best Map Puns

what do you use to find your way around alcatraz? a con-tour map.
why did the map always get invited to game nights? it knew how to “navigate” the competition.
the rebellious map: it takes you to the places you shouldn’t go.
how do you navigate alcatraz?a: “with a map of the detour!”
it’s well known that men can read maps better than women. but that’s because only men can convince themselves an inch is the same thing as 100 miles.
why did the map love school? it was always the center of attention in geography.
according to a survey 64% of americans couldn’t locate ukraine on a world map. the other 36% said, “what’s a world map?”
what’s a map’s favorite exercise? “contour” stretching!
why was the map always invited to parties?a: “because it always knew where the fun was!”
why do maps make terrible chefs? they always mix up the salt with the sea.
to who ever wrote the explanation of the symbols on the map. you are a legend
why was the map proud of its child? it followed in its footsteps, becoming a footprint map.
they say home is where the heart is. well, my heart has been mapped to you.
time-capsule map: just in case you need directions for the past or future.
why did the map join a book club?a: “to explore new ‘territories’ in literature!”
what does a map do when it’s sad? it cries me a river.
what did the map say to the lost tourist? “i’ll help you find the ‘key points’ of interest!”
i once put a list of symbols on a map and everyone still talks about it. it’s a legend.
what did one map say to the other map? “i’m lost for words.”
what do you call a map wearing a crown? a king diego!
why did the map get expelled from school? it started a physical altercation with the globe.
i just concluded research mapping chimp feces … … the locations are marked on a scatter plot.
what’s a map’s favorite fruit? “com-pass”ion fruit!
gave my wife a dart and a map, “once this is over, i’ll take you anywhere this lands”… i guess we’re going behind the fridge for two weeks!
did you hear about the map who won the marathon? it had a great sense of direction!
i always get lost when maps crop corners because it turns into a maize
what’s a map’s favorite social media platform? “snap-map”!
what did the map say to the confused traveler? “don’t worry, i’ll ‘steer’ you right!”
what do you call someone that hates reading but loves looking at maps a mapsochist
what’s a map’s favorite type of music? “topo” hits!
what’s a map’s favorite form of exercise? “geo”-jing!
why did the map go to therapy? it had too many issues with projections.
what’s sylvester stallone’s favourite map in mario kart? rambo road
why was the map on the news? it had the latest updates.
what did the map say to the atlas? “you’ve got a lot of pages to ‘cover’!”
why was the map blushing? because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
if you were a map, you’d be the ultimate destination for my heart.
the straight curves: a map with roads that defy the laws of physics.
why did the map become a philosopher? it liked contemplating “metaphysical distances.”
what did the road map say to the backpack? “hop in; let’s take a scenic route!”
why did the map go to the gym? to stay in scale.
what do you call a road map’s favorite music? the “highway to the jam zone”!
why did the map start a podcast? it had a lot of “points” to share.
why did the map join the military? to serve in the coordinates.
i asked the map to give me directions, but it just folded under pressure.
this year for christmas, im going to buy a map for chris rea … he seems a bit lost, he’s been driving home for christmas since 1986
a friend of mine always helps me out with maps and diagrams, pointing out all the little symbols and what they mean … the guy is a legend.
what do you call a map that loves to gamble? a “directional” map – it’s always betting on which way to go!
why did the map go to the spa? it needed to “relax” its contours.
what happened to the guy that sold land mines shaped like prayer maps? the prophets were through the roof
why did the map become a teacher? it wanted to help others find their way in life.
what did the map say to the traveler?a: “without me, you’d be lost!”
why did the geography teacher bring a ladder to class?a: “to show the students the way up on the map!”
why did the hunter shoot the map on the wall? he saw a turkey
what did the map say to the pathfinder? “i’ll follow you to the ends of the earth!”
every map tells a unique and fascinating story.
why did the map start a youtube channel? it wanted to “navigate” the online world.
why did the map go to a fashion show? it loved seeing the global trends.
why did the map enroll in an art class? it wanted to brush up on its “landscaping” skills.
why did the map join the circus? it loved the world tour.
the other day i downloaded the maps of wales, england, scotland and northern ireland for an assignment… was shocked to see that the total file size was 1gb.
why did the map become a weather forecaster? it could read the clouds like no other.
how do road maps stay cool in the summer? they always have the windows rolled down!
what’s a map’s favorite social media platform? “map”stagram!
why did the map become a librarian? it was skilled at “cataloging routes.”
why did the map become a bird watcher? it loved tracking migration paths.
how does a map like its coffee? with a dash of carto-graphy.
the maze maze: a map for navigating through various mazes.
why did the map become a painter? it wanted to “brush up” on its creativity.
what’s a road map’s favorite bedtime story? “the adventures of sleepy hollow way” – it’s a road trip to dreamland!
if a map gets invited to a party, it’s always the life of the carto-graphic party.
what do you call a map with a sunburn? a world of redness!
i’ve been searching in this map for the past hour… and i can’t seem to find country music.
my wife and i went hiking and got lost. i lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me. now i know where we stand.
why did the map go to the police? it got mugged in a shady corner of the city.