75 Massage Puns to Make You Giggle as You Gently De-Stress

Massage puns play on words related to massage therapy, body parts, and relaxation. Many massage puns reference the actual massage process, Others focus on body parts.

In addition to the actual massage experience, many massage puns revolve around the benefits of massage therapy. massage puns also like to imagine what massage therapists might say to their clients.

Overall, 75 Best Massage Puns provide an amusing way to reference the massage process, body parts, and benefits of relaxation through clever wordplay and double meanings.

75 Best Massage Puns

why was the massage therapist a good fisherman? they were patient!
why did the massage therapist go to the spa? they needed a day off from kneading!
why did the massage therapist become a mathematician? they were skilled at solving equations of muscle tension.
why did the massage therapist love winter? everyone’s muscles were tight!
we have the best massage place in town.
how did the massage therapist handle difficult clients? they applied tact-shiatsu!
why did the massage therapist become a chef? they enjoyed whipping up relaxation recipes.
what did the massage therapist say to the client who couldn’t find a comfortable position? “let’s “muscle” through and find your perfect spot.”
what do you call a massage from a cow? a moo-ssage.
what did the massage therapist say to the client who couldn’t stop talking during the session? “i knead some silence, please.”
“monday… nothing a massage can’t fix.”
i like to have a massage therapist come to my house, get a massage, take a bath, go to bed. that’s a perfect night alone for me. stacy keibler
massage for the mind, hand, and soul.
why did the massage therapist refuse to work on the clock? it had too many ticks!
why did the massage therapist become a detective? they had a knack for unraveling “knotorious” cases of tension.
what do you call a massage from a cow? a moo-ssage
why did the massage therapist become a gardener? they had a knack for working out ‘plant knots.’
why did the massage therapist become a painter? they enjoyed creating strokes of relaxation on the canvas of the body.
why was the massage therapist good at baseball? they always get to the base!
got fired from the massage parlor. i rubbed one of my clients up the wrong way.
what’s the massage gun’s favorite song? ‘shake it off’- it’s all about that ‘vibration’ power.
why did the massage therapist become a travel guide? they knew all the “stress-free” destinations.
why did the massage therapist become a tour guide? they knew all the “pressure” points of a good vacation.
what’s a massage therapist’s favorite dance? the twist!
why did the massage therapist become a detective? they wanted to solve the case of the missing tension.
a massage promo you won’t be able to resist!
what did the massage therapist say to the client who was always tense? “let’s “squeeze” that stress away.”
why did the massage therapist refuse to work on the balloon? it was too inflated!
you’re only one massage away from a good mood.
why did the massage therapist refuse to work on the skeleton? no muscles to knead!
why did the massage therapist become a pilot? they loved taking their clients on a “relaxation flight.”
enjoying a good life starts with a massage.
why don’t massage therapists play hide and seek? they always touch base!
why did the massage therapist become a librarian? they wanted to spread the joy of relaxation through “book-ky hands.”
my massage gun is like a percussionist for my muscles- always hitting the right ‘note’ of relief.
massages that feel luxurious but are actually cheap.
my wife bought me a scalp massager for christmas, but i couldn’t figure out what it was. turns out it was a real head scratcher.
a friend bought me a massage. the masseuse only worked on my front, so i didn’t really enjoy it. i wish i could’ve given it back.
i hear some us states are considering reopening massage parlors. there’s no happy ending in this scenario.
what did the massage therapist say to the client who was always on their phone during the session? “it’s time for a “tech-free” zone.”
got a name for a men-only massage place: backs treat boys.
why did the massage therapist refuse to work on the christmas tree? too many prickly needles!
why did the massage therapist write a book? they wanted to spread their knead-wisdom!
why was the massage therapist a good dancer? they knew all the body movements!
why don’t massage therapists like fast food? too many unhealthy joints!
sit down and get a massage anytime.
getting a fantastic massage is a choice.
why did the massage therapist become a scientist? they wanted to experiment with different techniques of relaxation.
what did the massage therapist say to the client who complained about sore muscles? “let me “knead” your worries away.”
silent serenity massage parlor.
what’s a massage therapist’s favorite game? muscular chairs!
a massage is just like eating a slice of heaven.rest and bliss awaits.pressure never felt so good!i’m not a masseuse, i’m a muscle whisperer.
Why did the massage therapist go to school? To knead knowledge into their profession!
What’s a massage therapist’s favorite type of bread? Knot-ty wheat.
Did you hear about the massage therapist’s secret talent? They have the magic touch!
How do massage therapists deal with stress? They take it one knead at a time.
Why did the massage therapist start a rock band? They wanted to hit the right notes with their clients.
What did the massage therapist say to the stressed-out client? “Relax, I’ve got your back!”
How does a massage therapist like their coffee? Decaf – they don’t need any more buzz!
Why did the massage therapist become a comedian? To keep their clients in stitches.
What’s a massage therapist’s favorite movie? “The Knead for Speed.”
How does a massage therapist answer the phone? “Hello, this is the pressure point hotline!”
What do you call a massage therapist who always stays calm? Zen-dulgent.
Why did the massage therapist bring a ladder to work? To reach new heights in relaxation!
What’s a massage therapist’s favorite type of music? Smooth jazz – the perfect backdrop for a rubdown.
How does a massage therapist greet a new client? “Nice to meet you; let’s work out those knots!”
Why did the massage therapist become a gardener? They wanted to grow their own relaxation oasis.
What did the massage therapist say to the athlete? “I’ll stretch your muscles – no pain, no gain!”
How does a massage therapist make important decisions? They follow their intuition and trust their gut feelings.
Why did the massage therapist go to the beach? To enjoy some shore-relaxation.
What’s a massage therapist’s favorite type of weather? Knead-ar weather – just the right amount of warmth and breeze.
How does a massage therapist handle a noisy client? They politely ask them to “shhoulder” it.
Why did the massage therapist become a detective? They wanted to unravel the mystery of tension.
What did the massage therapist say to the procrastinator? “It’s time to get your knots together!”
How does a massage therapist start a conversation? “Let’s break the ice and work on your muscle thaw.”