95 Squash Puns to Pump Up Your Grins

Squash puns turn the name of the Plant into a silly or amusing phrase to elicit a chuckle. The play on words takes squash and associates it with having a stomach ache in a way that sounds funny.

Some common types of squash puns play on squash varieties like butternut squash, acorn squash, spaghetti squash, and pumpkin. Themes in squash puns include sports like squash the game, cooking, gardening, music, dancing, and more.

Here is the list of 95 Best Squash Puns to Pump Up Your Grins.

95 Best Squash Puns

1. what is the hulk’s favourite sport? squash.
2. why did the squash go to therapy? it needed to squash its emotional issues!
3. why did the squash cross the road? to get to the other vine.
4. what did the butternut squash say to its friend the pumpkin? “oh aren’t we glad that we’re friends?”
5. not sure i can successfully cook this butternut squash, but i will give it my best shot and overcome my doubts.
6. what’s a squash’s favorite tv show? the real vegetables of garden county.
7. what is godzilla’s favorite fruit? squash.
8. my friend bet that i couldn’t name all the types of squash, but i said, “that’s a bunch of squash.”
9. why did the squash go to the bookstore? to buy some squash-tastic books.
10. how do squash players stay cool in summer? they find shade under the “lob” tree!
11. why did the squash go to the doctor? it had a bad case of squashy tummy.
12. 3 hookers are chatting in a bar the first says “i’ve worked it so much i can fit a squash up there.” the second says “that’s nothing, i can stick a melon up mine.” the third just smiles and slowly slides down the bar stool.
13. why did the squash blush? because it saw the salad dressing.
14. why did the squash gourd become a gardener? it had a ‘gourd’-ening passion for cultivating beauty!
15. butternut squash believes in “peaceful coexistence”.
16. why did the squash player bring a map to the tournament? because he didn’t want to get lost in the squash!
17. what do you call a squash that’s always working? a hardworking gourd.
18. what do you call a spaghetti squash that tries to pass itself off as real noodles? an impasta
19. what was the pumpkin’s favorite sport? squash.
20. why did the cucumber refuse to hang out with the squash? it thought the squash was a little too a-peeling.
21. what did the farmer say when his squash won an award? it’s an absolute squash-cess!
22. why did the butternut squash visit its doctor? because it had “gourd-aches”.
23. what do you call an edible gourd with a cheeky disposition? a sass-squash
24. what did the acorn squash say to its crush? ‘i’m falling for you, seed by seed!’
25. what do you call a squash that’s been in a fight? a bruised squash.
26. did you hear about the new smashing pumpkins cover band? they call themselves squished squash!
27. how did the butternut squash respond to its friend’s funny story? it said, “that’s quite a ‘squash’-tacular tale!”
28. why did the squash ball go to school? it wanted to get a little more bounce in its education!
29. butternut squash know how to crush negativity!
30. i accidentally stepped on one of my friends squash. i feel so bad. he told me not even ten minutes before hand that i’d butternut squash it.
31. what did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up? oh my gourd!
32. the pumpkin said to the squash, “you’re quite a squashtastic friend.
33. not sure i can pull off making butternut squash soup, but will give it my best shot anyway. i don’t trust myself just yet to succeed at creating it though so far so good.
34. what’s a squash’s favorite vacation destination? the isle of zucchi-ni.
35. why did the squash refuse to fight? it didn’t want to get squashed.
36. squash your worries: finding solace in the company of vegetables.
37. i never knew a squash could be so gorgeous until i saw you.
38. how did the acorn squash become a renowned artist? it mastered the art of squash-ting.
39. why did the squash go to the park? to play some squash-tastic sports.
40. what’s a squash player’s favorite fairy tale? “jack and the beansquash”!
41. why did the squash go to the bakery? to buy some squash-tastic bread.
42. what’s the only root veggie that comes with a warning? butternut squash
43. why did the squash go to the gym? to get a good squash pump.
44. what did the squash say when it was asked to dance? “i’d love to, but i’m all vine.”
45. what term describes a musical butternut squash? acousticoustic!
46. not sure if i can afford this butternut squash, but i will do everything possible to stay within my budget and try.
47. squash (sport) anyone? i know there’s only a couple places with squash courts but does anyone have recs on a specific place?or interest in playing a moderate yet out of practice player?
48. what do you call a squash that’s always writing? a literary gourd.
49. why did the acorn squash never go on vacation? it preferred to stay rooted.
50. squash the doubts: building confidence in the power of vegetables.
51. why was the squash player always smiling? they had a “smash”ing personality!
52. bored → gourd: as in, “gourd stiff,” and “gourd to death,” and “gourd to tears.” note: a gourd is a type of large fruit with a hard shell, similar to squashes and pumpkins.
53. why did the butternut squash bring a pencil to the party? in case it wanted to ‘squash’ some rumors!
54. why did the squash player go to the bank? he wanted to open a savings account for all his squash goals!
55. squash goals: the aspirations of a determined gourd.
56. butternut squash cannot run, but it does mash pretty easily!
57. why did the squash player get locked out of the court? they lost their “serve” key!
58. why did the squash go to the dance? to do the squash-trot.
59. what do you call a squash player who can predict the future? a racquet scientist!
60. my son says he wants to grow squash when he gets older.. me: “really? you’ll probably be gourd out of your mind”
61. why should you never play hacky sack with bigfoot you’ll get you sack-squashed.
62. what do you get when you cross a vegetable patch with a dinosaur? squash
63. why do squash players make good detectives? because they are always looking for a racquet!
64. why did the acorn squash apply for a job as a detective? it had a knack for cracking ‘seed’ cases!
65. what do you call a squash that’s always trying to be cool? a hip squash.
66. why did the butternut squash start a yoga class? it wanted to improve its “squash-tability”!
67. what do you call a squash that’s always knitting? a crafty gourd.
68. how do squash players keep their focus? they “court” their concentration!
69. what do you call a squash that’s always meditating? a zen gourd.
70. when someone is flirting with you by offering squash you are being sejuiced
71. what’s a vegetables favorite sport? squash
72. what do you call a squash that’s a good singer?a: acorn-y houston!
73. my dog’s name is butter. one day, i went outside and accidentally stepped on his testicles. anybody want some butter nut squash?
74. what do you call a butternut squash with a great sense of style? a fashion-forward “squash-ionista”!
75. what do you call a squash that’s always traveling? a globetrotting gourd.
76. why was the squash court cold? someone left the door ajar!
77. why did the squash break up with the pumpkin?a: it found someone butter!
78. why did the squash refuse to join the circus? it didn’t want to be squashed by expectations.
79. why was butternut squash an amazing actor? because its “emot-gourds” were incredible!
80. what did the squash coach say during practice? “squash those doubts, and aim for the top seed!”
81. the squash always brought life to the party. it was the ultimate “gourd”-dynamic entertainer!
82. what’s a butternut squash’s favorite thing to do on a rainy day? curl up with a good book and some ‘squash’-mellows!
83. how do you turn a pumpkin into a different vegetable? you throw it up in the air and it comes down squash!
84. what do you call a squash that’s always taking pictures? a snap-happy gourd.
85. how did the squash win the singing competition? it had a smashing voice.
86. why did the squash become a detective? it had a keen sense of squash-tice.
87. why did the acorn squash get an invitation to the fancy dinner party? because it knew how to dress up its seeds!
88. why did the squash go to therapy? it was feeling a bit squashed.
89. what’s an acorn squash’s favorite dance move? the ‘twist and seed’ – it’s all about those smooth moves!
90. at work in a restaurant, the food runner dropped a to-go container for an order so i said “you butternut squash it!”and they still wouldn’t send me home
91. what did the spaghetti squash say at the party? ‘i’m all tangled up in the ‘spaghetti’ of life!’
92. what’s a butternut squash’s favorite dessert? “squash” pie!
93. what was the pumpkin’s favorite sport? squash.
94. what show do butternut squashes watch on television? “squash of thrones!”
95. what’s a squash gourd’s favorite kind of music? anything with a ‘gourd’-geous melody!

Feel free to add your puns using the comments section below.