75 Thirsty Puns for Fun with Our Tongue-in-Cheek Hydration Humor

Thirsty puns playfully joke about feeling parched or desperately needing a drink. They often start by someone stating “I’m thirsty” which cues the joke teller to respond with a silly pun instead of an actual beverage.

Thirsty puns frequently personify days of the week, especially Friday, as if they were people you could talk and make plans with to get a drink. Other popular thirsty puns anthropomorphize inanimate objects like trees, camels, and even the concept of justice as feeling dry and in need of hydration.

Thirsty pun types range from simple plays on words like “orange Jews” and “H2hoe” to more conceptual puns that require the joke teller to act out an impromptu conversation with an abstract concept or inanimate object.

The list of 75 Best Thirsty Puns provided includes examples of these different types and themes, showcasing the versatility and creativity of thirsty puns.

75 Best Thirsty Puns

1. what do you give a thirsty tree? root beer.
2. what do you drink if you are only a little thirsty in minneapolis? a mini-soda!
3. dad i’m thirsty ! hello thirsty my name is friday. do you know monday and tuesday? let’s all go to wednesday’s party!
4. what do you call a group of thirsty rabbi’s with a tan? orange jews
5. dad i’m thirsty… hey thirsty, i’m friday. let’s meet on a saturday and have a sunday.
6. what do you call a thirsty camel ? a dry humper
7. dad i’m thirsty… hey thirsty, i’m friday. let’s meet on a saturday and have a sunday.
8. what kind of paper is always thirsty? parchment
9. i’m so thirsty, i could drink a waterfall… but i’ll settle for a glass!
10. i was thirsty one day and someone said, “drink canada dry.” man they got alot of water up there..
11. did you know that the earth used to be 100% water? that was until yo momma got thirsty.
12. hey girl did you know you’re over 65% water? and im thirsty.
13. what do you call a girl thats thirsty for water? h2hoe
14. don’t tell my dad you’re thirsty… victim: “i’m thirsty”dad: “hi thirsty, i’m friday, come over saturday and we’ll have a sunday.”
15. a programmer goes to bed and puts two glasses next to him. one – with water, if he feels thirsty one – without, if he does not.
16. when judges are thirsty what do they crave? just ice.
17. what do you drink if you are only a little thirsty in minneapolis? a mini-soda!
18. no matter how much pop i drink i’m still so thirsty… i must be soda hydrated.
19. i’m so thirsty, i could drink a lake… but i’ll settle for a glass!
20. thirsty thursday i’m so thirsty right now i’m almost friday.
21. a blond goes to bed with a glass of water and an empty one. the latter is in case she wakes up not feeling thirsty.
22. dad, i’m thirsty! dad: well i’m friday!every. time.
23. kid: “dad dad, i’m thirsty!” dad: “pleased to meet you, i’m friday.
24. i can’t wait until i’m legal to drink.. only eating all these years has left me thirsty. i have heard good things about water.
25. what did the karate master ask for when he was thirsty? waaataaaaaaaa!
26. i’m so thirsty, i could drink an ocean… but i’ll settle for a glass of water!
27. no matter how much pop i drink i’m still so thirsty… i must be soda hydrated.
28. two camels are walking through the desert. one looks to the other and goes. i don’t care what anyone says… i’m thirsty…
29. all that salt must make them thirsty.
30. what do you call a thirsty bee? >!beehydrated!<
31. hitler was quite thirsty… i hear he downed 6 million gallons of jewce
32. when judges are thirsty what do they crave? just ice.
33. “dad, i’m thirsty” “hi thirsty, i’m friday. let’s get together saturday and have a sundae”
34. a programmer goes to bed and puts two glasses next to him. one – with water, if he feels thirsty one – without, if he does not.
35. i’m so thirsty, i could drink a pond… but i’ll start with a glass!
36. why was chodes almond shop full of thirsty girls? because he had the saltiest nuts in town
37. my son: daddy i’m thirsty. me: go get some water it’s important to stay hydrated.
38. what do you call someone who lives in flint michigan? thirsty.
39. a programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. one full of water in case he gets thirsty and an empty one in case he doesn’t.
40. a programmer goes to bed and puts two glasses next to him. one – with water, if he feels thirsty one – without, if he does not.
41. today i set my location on tinder to flint, michigan i heard the girls are hella thirsty
42. hey thirsty, i’m friday. wanna go out on saturday for a sunday?^i’m^sorry
43. yo mama so thirsty she climbed mt. dew.– my 9 year old
44. today i set my location on tinder to flint, michigan because i bet those girls are pretty thirsty.
45. what do you call a girl that’s thirsty for water ? an h2hoe.
46. what do you call a girl who is thirsty for water? an h2hoe
47. where do you go when you’re thirsty but also need to tell on your lil bitch ass brother who broke something?
48. the people who discovered oceans: we will never be thirsty again! god: na
49. what do you call a girl thirsty for water a h2hoei’m not sure if this has already been posted
50. which thirsty one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with thirsty? i can suggest the ones about starving and greedy.
51. why does a blonde put empty bottles in her fridge? for guests that aren’t thirsty.
52. what did donald trump do when he heard the vice president was thirsty? he gave pensacola
53. thirsty thursday i’m so thirsty right now i’m almost friday.
54. when he is thirsty, what does the overconfident man say is his favorite body part? “surely temple.”
55. a programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. one full of water in case he gets thirsty and an empty one in case he doesn’t.
56. what do you call a girl thirsty for water a h2hoei’m not sure if this has already been posted
57. my female friend asked me today “say, how does one catch some thirsty dudes for themselves?” i said “just mark the post nsfw and they’ll come around”
58. a programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. one full of water in case he gets thirsty and an empty one in case he doesn’t.
59. a thirsty man from michigan went to california to find something to drink because no water is better than michigan water.
60. what do you call a girl who is thirsty for water? an h2hoe
61. when i told my dad i was thirsty as a kid.. he would say: “i’m friday, let’s go saturday and have a sundae.”
62. i’m so thirsty, i could drink an entire swimming pool… but i’ll start with a glass!
63. what do you call a thirsty camel ? a dry humper
64. i was thirsty one day and someone said, “drink canada dry.” man they got alot of water up there..
65. what do thirsty ninjas drink? waa-tah!
66. according to women, men dont have feelings but that’s just not true at all, we sometimes feel hungry and thirsty.
67. dad, i’m thirsty! dad: well i’m friday!every. time.
68. what do you call someone who lives in flint michigan? thirsty.
69. where do you go when you’re thirsty but also need to tell on your lil bitch ass brother who broke something?
70. i can’t wait until i’m legal to drink.. only eating all these years has left me thirsty. i have heard good things about water
71. why does a blonde put empty bottles in her fridge? for guests that aren’t thirsty.
72. with the trapping guide i could lay snares so i wouldn’t go hungry, with the purifier i could have a source of clean water so i wouldn’t get thirsty, and with the car door i could roll the window down so i wouldn’t get hot.
73. you are stuck in a desert and very thirsty, you have a decision to choose two bottles of water, one that’s pee, and one that’s blood. which one would you choose? if i was a normal person, i would choose the two bottles of water.
74. why is everyone thirsty at the north pole? no well
75. when you’re thirsty but no drinks are around… wat-er you gonna do?.

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