55 Tortoise Puns Will Make You Crack a Smile

best funny Tortoise puns
Written by Fuuny Puns Team

Tortoise puns are a type of wordplay that utilizes the characteristics, traits, and attributes of tortoises to create humorous and playful jokes or puns.

They often involve puns on the shell, slow speed, longevity, and other distinctive features of tortoises, cleverly weaving them into witty one-liners, riddles, or jokes.

These puns are popular for their ability to make people laugh and appreciate the unique qualities of tortoises. Some popular themes of tortoise puns include shell-related puns, slow-speed puns, long-life puns, and more.

These 55 Best Tortoise Puns are a lighthearted way to play with the idea of the tortoise as a symbol of patience and steadiness in popular culture.

55 Best Tortoise Puns

  1. what’s a tortoise’s favorite school subject? shell-gebra.
  2. why did the tortoise start a bakery? it wanted to make slow-rising dough!
  3. i’ve discovered the secret of a long life. be born as a giant tortoise.
  4. turtles are one of the oldest living reptiles on this planet who possess long life spans. jonathan, the seychelles giant tortoise, is said to be 187-188 years old and is the oldest living animal at this moment.
  5. what’s a tortoise’s favorite type of literature? slow-etry!
  6. what’s a tortoise’s favorite dessert? shell-ly beans.
  7. what do you call a tortoise that can play the guitar? a slow jam!
  8. how do tortoises keep track of their schedules? by employing a “shell”-endar!
  9. why did the tortoise become a magician? it wanted to perform “shellusions”!
  10. why can’t a tortoise eat mcdonald’s food? – because it is too slow for fast food!
  11. why did the tortoise go to the fair? he loved cotton shell-dy.
  12. there is no one who looks as attractive like the tortoise, even after it’s more than two hundred years old.
  13. why did the tortoise join the basketball team? because he’s a terrific turtle back.
  14. why did the tortoise decide to become a musician?a: because it wanted to play some slow tunes!
  15. did you know how the tortoise came out on top in the race with the rabbit? they came up with the idea of getting inside before the tortoise slipped into his shell, and then won the race.
  16. what do paedophiles and tortoises have in common? what do paedophiles and tortoises have in common?they both want to get there before the hair
  17. why did the tortoise bring a ladder to the party? it wanted to reach new shell- heights!
  18. what’s a tortoise’s favorite type of music concert? a shell-ebration!
  19. what do you call a tortoise in hollywood? a shell-ebrity.
  20. what do tortoises enjoy playing on board games? a favorite board game would likely be “slow”opoly!
  21. how do tortoises communicate? they use shell-phones.
  22. how does a tortoise spend its vacation? by relaxing and unwinding at its shell-cation home!
  23. what do you call a tortoise that has to pee ? a porpoise
  24. why did the tortoise become a chef? it wanted to make ‘slow’ food!
  25. what’s a tortoise’s favorite form of art? shell-sculpting!
  26. what do you call a tortoise that’s a spy? shell-t bond.
  27. what’s a tortoise’s favorite breakfast? shell-grain cereal!
  28. why do tortoises make great accountants?a: they’re always careful with their numbers!
  29. how do tortoises communicate? by shellphones!
  30. a bloke walks into a pet shop and places a bomb on the counter and says ” you’ve got one minute to get out” a tortoise in the back shouts ” you bastard!”
  31. my favorite teacher at school was mrs. turtle. strange name but she tortoise well.
  32. why did the tortoise go to the church? he loved shell-igion.
  33. how do tortoises keep themselves entertained? by watching “shell-television!”
  34. why did the tortoise become a magician? it could make its opponents shell- disappear!
  35. why do tortoises make excellent philosophers?a: they always take their time to ponder life’s deepest questions!
  36. a tortoise beat up a snail pretty bad. the snails two friends wanted revenge and so they asked him “do you recollect anything. his name, build, marks etc?”the snail said “no i don’t. it happened so fast:-(“
  37. traffic report i heard on the radio that a truck full of terrapins crashed into a truck full of tortoises. the police said it was a turtle disaster.
  38. what do you call a tortoise that’s a great astronaut? shell-neil armstrong.
  39. why did a tortoise begin painting? they wanted to create “shell-ic masterpieces!”
  40. the police questioned a sloth that was snatched by tortoises. he told police “it occurred so swiftly.”
  41. what do you call a tortoise that can sing? a shell-abrity!
  42. what do you call it when a lorry of tortoises crashes into an aquarium? a turtle disaster
  43. what will you receive if crossing a tortoise the giraffe, as well as the kangaroo? the turtleneck jumper.
  44. what’s a tortoise’s favorite dessert topping? slow-melting chocolate shell!
  45. what do you call a tortoise that’s great at math? an alge-braaainiac!
  46. what do you call a tortoise that’s a tech expert?a: a shell-geek!
  47. what’s a tortoise’s favorite dessert? slow-churned ice cream!
  48. what do you call a tortoise who likes bowling? a “strike”oise!
  49. what will you call a tortoise if ever see him carrying a hammer? thortoise.
  50. what do you call a tortoise that’s a firefighter?a: a shell-ro!
  51. what’s a tortoise’s favorite movie genre? slow-fi!
  52. why do tortoises make great athletes?a: they always finish the race!
  53. turtle adoptionturtles for saletortoises for sale
  54. how do tortoises send mail? they use shell-livery services!
  55. the tortoise challenged the hare the tortoise said “race you home!”the hare began sprinting. the tortoise retracted into his shell.

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About the author

Fuuny Puns Team

With a shared love for puns, we come together to create content that will leave you laughing and entertained. Our team members have a knack for finding the perfect puns for any occasion and enjoy sharing them with our readers. From witty one-liners to clever wordplay, we strive to bring you the best puns and humor that will brighten your day.

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