75 Wizard Puns to Lighten Your Magical Day

Wizard puns playfully twist phrases and words related to magic and fantasy, like those about wizards, witches, spells, potions, and magical creatures.

Wizard puns come in many varieties but often focus on spellcasting, magical objects like wands and brooms, potion-making, mythical beasts, and magical character archetypes like wizards, witches, elves, and dragons.

They play on fantasy terminology like mixing up real “spells” with made-up silly incantations. They also anthropomorphize elements like wizard cats who can predict the future.

These 75 Best Wizard Puns add a magical twist to everyday expressions, creating a humorous and whimsical effect.

75 Best Wizard Puns

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why did the wizard become a comedian? he had a knack for casting “laughs” spells!
why did the wizards wife have hickeys on her neck? because he was a neck-romancer….
why did the wizard challenge the witch to a spell-off? he wanted to prove he was the “spelling” champion!
i have a hicky from my date with a wizard last night she was a neck-romancer
what did the wizard say when they found a new spell? “this is ‘magi-nificent’!”
with covid ravaging the wizarding world, hagrid ushers a coughing potter back to his dorm. “you’re a hazard, wheezy.”
why did the wizard cat open a bakery? because it loved “purr-sweet” treats!
why did the wizard cat become a fortune-teller? because it had the “paws” of prediction!
a wizard turned my cat into a pile of indian spice! oh lawd, he cumin!
why was the wizard always first? because he was spell-speedy!
why do wizard cats make terrible poker players? because they always “show their claws”!
what do wizards sing when it is an ice wizards birthday? oh, freeze a jolly good fellow.
my best friend called me and said “an evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! i don’t know what to do!” i drove all the way to his house just to find out he’s just a big fucking lyre.
what do you call a wizard that’s on weed? weedzard
what do you call a wizard with a messy laboratory? a “sorcerer-er”!
why did the witch break up with the wizard? he had too many hexes!
what does a condiment wizard perform? saucery
what do you call a wizard who can dance? a ball-room magician!
what was the preferred mode of transport for the wizard of oz? the oscar.
how did the wizard score in football? with a spell-tacular goal!
why don’t wizards like to get up early in the morning? they’re not morning people!
how do wizards send letters? by owl or spell-mail.
want to impress a wizard? mention you’ve met a “real” dragon.
how do wizards pay their bills? with “spell-check” from the bank of enchantment!
in our next dnd campaign, the 4 heroes are all going to be singing wizards. a regular bard-ershop quartet.
what do you call a wizard who’s good at geometry? a wizard with angles!
why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the halloween party?a: he was going as a banana!
what’s a wizard’s favorite dessert? ice sorcery!
why did the dragon love the wizard? he was a-mage-ing.
how do wizards apologize? “i didn’t mean to cast that on you!”
why did the wizard bring a ladder to the potion shop? to check out the higher spirits!
who did the wizard marry ?a: his ghoul-friend!
from wizard to vampire to bat…
what do you call a wizard laying in the gutter? a: dwayne.
why did the wizard always get discounts? because he was a charm-ing customer.
never have sex with a wizard… i did once and i got hogwarts.now they won’t quidditching.
why did the wizard have road-rage while on his broom?a: he flew off the handle:
what do you call a wizard that fell down the stairs? tumbledore.
why did the wizard become a chef? he was great at saucery. heh.
i said, “gandalf once said ‘a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.'” my boss replied, “you’re still fucking fired!”
my wizard friend is great at fishing. he always uses baited breath.
wands are like smartphones for wizards—wave and make things happen.
wizards don’t age, they just level up.
i told the wizard a secret, now it’s wand-erful news.
what sits in a wizard’s garden and shivers?a: a nervous rake!
why did the dyslexic wizard get kicked out of school? he couldn’t spell
the wizard’s cooking show is called “bewitched bites.”
what did the wizard think of his new smart phone?a: he thought it was wizzzard-bang!
who is the only isp allowed in the wizarding world? aowl
what’s a wizard cat’s favorite game to play with its human? “hide and peek”!
what is a bad wizard’s favourite computer program? spell-check
what do you call a software wizard that installs applications? the wizard of os
what do you call a wizard that’s on weed? weedzard
why don’t wizards ever win the lottery? because their lucky charms don’t work!
a wizard doesn’t finger his wife... elixir
why did the wizard always carry a notebook? to spell-check!
how do you know a wizard is having a midlife crisis? he gets a faster broomstick.
why did the wizard go to school? he wanted to improve his spelling!
what did the wizards say to the airplane? wing-ardium leviosa.
why did the wizard bring a ladder to the dungeon? because they wanted to cast “elevation” spells!
what do you call a wizard who messes up spells? a fumble-dore!
what did the wizard put on the no parking sign?a: violators will be turned in to toads!
why did the wizard refuse to play cards with the elves? because they were always “deck-ing” the halls!
what do you call a wizard who can make toasted sandwiches? breville longbottom
why did the wizard always carry a calendar? to keep his days enchanted.
why did the wizard always carry an umbrella? in case of spell drizzles!
what did the wizard say to his witch girlfriend?a: hello gore-juice!
how did the wizard pay for his magical broomstick? with “spell-check”!
how does gandalf know he’s pregnant?a wizard is never late.
how do wizards stay cool in the summer? they wear spell-tertops!
what happened when the wizard turned a little boy into a hare?a: the boy is still rabbiting on about it!
why are wizards afraid to eat the pies? they are portkey pies.
why did the wizard cat bring a wand to the ball of yarn? it wanted to “unravel” some magical mysteries!
why did the wizard never lie? he hated false spells!